Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Awhile back, my Korean family found me

No, I didn't find them. I wasn't searching for them ~ they were searching for me.

They were searching.

For me.

For 34 years.

The story of how we got separated is tragic and fucked up. It makes me feel a distant sense of anger and a good deal of sadness. I won't tell our private story, but suffice to say it was basically internationally sanctioned kidnapping.

It makes me feel a little happy to know I was always loved & wanted, and that they never have up hope. It's amazing how that scrap of knowledge can hold up a person's soul.

If you haven't experienced this circumstance, there's no way to explain how it feels. I will not try. I could say I feel this or I feel that, but they're just words. Normally I'm pretty good with words, but for this they seem so powerless.

4 comments:

  1. You are in my thoughts. I can't begin to imagine how this feels for you. I know that part of you is so happy, yet another part of you is heartbroken and angry. That internal conflict must be difficult. I hope and pray that you will move forward in the strenght and dignity that I know you possess.

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  2. Oh my goodness. I can't find the words. I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. What a gift to know this about them, but then what pain that must bring too. I can't get my mind around it.

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  3. How sad. Unfair. But at the same time, I assume there's peace in knowing how they felt. But sadness and anger too. Indescribable.

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  4. Oh my .. . I don't know what to say. I can't imagine the conflict of emotions you are feeling. What a nightmare your parents lived for 34 years-- I can't begin to wrap my head around living that kind of anguish.

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